With small variations in the baby’s age, this consultation is the most common and something very surprising when the first baby comes home.
Our babies born in the XXI century do not present too many biological differences with babies born in prehistory. Knowing this fact will allow us to understand the reason for many things that our children do, which may seem not very meaningful to us.
Babies need the presence of an adult to survive. A baby that an adult does not protect is a baby that is at risk of dying. Babies have specialized, for sheer survival, in continually claiming the presence of an adult.
A baby 2,000,000 years ago or one born today has the same needs: warmth, love, food and interaction with the adult. A baby that is “forgotten” in a meadow while her mother picks berries is a baby at risk, as it can die from any animal or die of cold. So babies still come standard with a built-in “lost contact” alarm.
It does not matter if they live in a safe house, have a beautiful crib, and the house has heating to guarantee that their body temperature will not drop … It does not matter, if the baby loses contact with its mother, it will burst into tears almost immediately, claiming attention and making sure mom is around.
Surely this has never been told to you, and it is very surprising when you have a baby for the first time in your care. And it is that babies are not as they have told us, and they have specific needs that may seem incomprehensible to us.
Caring for a baby day and night throughout life is the hardest and most strenuous work that exists, so we must always keep in mind that their needs are what they are and that what we can do “not to die” in the attempt is to adapt ourselves as much as possible to them: carrying, co-sleeping, arms … It’s everything that baby expects and what it asks of us. And, in case there is any doubt, that is not spoiling.
If there’s one thing that surprises new parents, it’s the fact that babies don’t sleep the way we expect.
We are used to seeing babies sleeping all day practically in movies and science fiction, and although many people say that you are not going to sleep, you never think that it will be like that … you think it will be a matter of a couple of weeks or that you will be able to teach your child to sleep well from the beginning.
And then they also tell you that you should not sleep your baby in your arms and that you should quickly accustom him to sleeping in his crib so that he is not dependent and when you try, you discover that it seems that the crib has spiked, because every time you leave your baby there, the minute he wakes up and starts crying.
And if you try to do what everyone tells you, an ordeal begins for everyone: baby, mom and dad.
Here I am going to explain to you why children do not want to sleep in their cribs and cry when we leave them there so that you can see that people are wrong and you dare to do what instinct asks of you.
We are mammals
If you look at other mammals: dogs, cats, hamsters, etc., you will see that everyone sleeps in the company because their mammalian nature asks them to sleep like this, accompanied.
Even animals of different species or that do not get along, when the night comes, they put together to sleep because their instinct tells them that it is better for them:
they are not cold are safer in case of danger they are less afraid
In addition, there are no female mammals that when they are mothers separate from their young to sleep, this is against nature, and that is why when we put babies in their cribs, they suffer, and we suffer too.
Baby’s instincts are running high.
How many times have you been told that babies are instinctive beings?
They do not know how to speak, see practically nothing, and do not understand the world around them. Therefore their way of survival is by instinct.
And her instinct tells him that he must be close to mom to be safe, so she claims him.
The night is dangerous, and accompanied babies are not in danger.
The genetics of today’s babies are almost the same as those of prehistoric babies, and therefore their instincts prepare them to feel that the night is dangerous.
It happens to all of us because even as adults, we are afraid of the dark, and we see much bigger problems at night, right?
In babies, the fear of the night is even more intense, and they do not know that they live in closed, safe houses and that a predator is not going to come to eat them.
Ten thousand years ago, if you were a baby and spent the night alone, you could die. Well, today’s babies feel that fear. The crib is too big.
Babies like to feel tight and tight like they were in Mom’s gut where their limbs weren’t loose.
That is why some accept sleeping with reducing cushions, and almost all love being carried by ergonomic baby carriers that allow them to be close to mom and have their body well supported.
They miss us after nine months in the gut.
It’s that simple.
They have spent nine months inside our belly, listening to our heart and our body inside, they have been accompanied for 24 hours, seven days a week … and when they are born, they feel alone, lost, scared, and they miss us.
It is an unknown world for them, with new sensations (hunger, dirty diaper, clothes in contact with the skin), some noises were previously muffled, strange people holding the child, etc.; therefore, the child asks to be in contact with the mother.